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Helpful goals
EXPAND SECTION
“When you set realistic goals, the chances of you achieving them are high”
Clear and specific
“I want to be able to face the court hearing without getting overwhelmed and with minimal distress”Attainable and realistic
“I want to be able to sleep soundly and reduce panic symptoms amidst intimate partner violence”Timebound and trackable but flexible
“I can wait for a month for my partner to revert”Unhelpful goals
EXPAND SECTION
“Now that we have talked about what will help you achieve your goals, let us also discuss what we don’ need to pursue”
“When you set goals that are too high, you might feel like giving up or you might get frustrated because the goal is not going to be reached”
Vague
“I don’t want to experience stress. I want to feel better”Unrealistic and unattainable
“I want my husband to be responsible and caring”… when he refuses to take responsibility despite repeated attempts to intervene
Unclear and indefinite
“I can’t do anything until my partner reverts and will wait until he does”… when there are no signs of him reverting
Keep in mind
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Help her set goals: don’t set goals for her
Think about the factors that influence her goals and decisions
- Social stigma
- Child welfare
- Financial dependence
- Love marriage
- Hopes of the situation improving
She might want to revisit the goals and move back and forth before a firm decision
She might need help because violence leads to trauma which interferes with healthy goal setting
You can reflect together on her wavering without judging or blaming her, and then arrive at the best possible plan of action
She might need help because violence leads to trauma which interferes with healthy goal setting
You can reflect together on her wavering without judging or blaming her, and then arrive at the best possible plan of action
Give her some time to think
Take her back to the process she has tried, which either did or did not work
Walk her through the different goals she has
The ultimate choice will lie with her
Take her back to the process she has tried, which either did or did not work
Walk her through the different goals she has
The ultimate choice will lie with her
Examples of goals
she might have
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Separation
To coexist with her partner
Violence to stop
Legal intervention
To coexist with her partner
Violence to stop
Legal intervention
She wants her children to be safe
She wants shelter
She wants employment
She wants medical assistance
She wants shelter
She wants employment
She wants medical assistance
She wants to feel loved and respected
She wants to improve her confidence
She wants to restore her physical health and improve her sleep
She wants to reduce her fear
She wants to get support from her natal family, marital family or partner
She wants to improve her confidence
She wants to restore her physical health and improve her sleep
She wants to reduce her fear
She wants to get support from her natal family, marital family or partner
She wants to be able to say “no”
She wants to share with someone: she wants someone to know that she is experiencing violence. She can
go to them if she needs help in the future
She wants to share with someone: she wants someone to know that she is experiencing violence. She can
go to them if she needs help in the future
She wants to be able to overcome fear and worry, sadness and hopelessness or trauma and numbness
RELATED TOPICS
Supporting the mental health of survivors of domestic violence against women with dignity and pride
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